WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump attempted to further quell any protests about his immigration policy by releasing thousands of AI-generated photos of himself on Facebook as a jacked Rambo, confirmed sources who are more confused than they are intimidated.
“These are some really beautiful photographs, some people say they should be in a museum. I’m not saying that, but a lot of people are. I’ve got the muscles, the bandana, and look at the size of that gun. That’s a very big gun, you could do a lot of damage with that,” said Trump while finishing a half dozen Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. “I want these photos to be a warning to all the radical left liberal freaks who think they have a right to push back against anything I do. These people are trying to come into your home and punch your photo of Jesus, and Jesus was a good man, a great man. I met him once in a dream. He came up to me, his body wasn’t as good as mine, and he looked kind of tired, and he said to me ‘I thought I had a good message, but yours is the best message.’ Can you believe Jesus said that to me?”
Facebook user, 58-year-old Eddie Lipton of South Dakota, was impressed by the vast array of Trump AI art.
“I was checking the news in my feed and saw how Los Angeles is on fire. Couldn’t happen to a better place, I had a 45 minute layover in LA one time and I’ve never been so afraid. I’m glad Trump is trying to keep the peace by rolling out these new photos, I was late for work because I stood up and sang “The Star Spangled Banner” each time I saw a new variation,” said Lipton while displaying multiple American flags which were desecrated with images of Trump. “I took some photos of my computer screen with my phone so I could send this Trump stuff to my daughter, but her lawyer intervened and said I was violating the restraining order. This country has gone mad.”
Activists on the streets remain undeterred by the latest tactic from the White House.
“Fuck ICE, fuck Trump, fuck every single person in law enforcement. You are all scum, there is a special place in Hell for all of you. We won’t stop, there is more of us than there are of them,” said local organizer Sammi Garcia. “This president and this administration are a disgrace. The history books will not be kind to anyone who sat on the sidelines and watched this happen. Also, nobody under the age of 35 even has a Facebook account, dumb fucks.”
At press time, Trump changed his official White House photo to an AI image of himself riding a pegasus into battle on the beach at Normandy.