KANSAS CITY, Mo. — The Hallmark Channel announced a new meet-cute release that will be set in a sleepy New Hampshire town’s plasma clinic where the struggling characters are forced to go due to the high cost of living, according to company sources.
“We’re so happy that we’re able to provide our loyal viewers with another wholesome bit of content that’s a little more grounded,” said Hallmark President John Macks. “We never expected in our wildest dreams that our cookie-cutter, predictable plots would bring joy to so many, and we hope our fans will also feel the same way about our next movie called ‘Love Poke,’ where our characters will fall madly in love after bumping into each other while selling their plasma for rent money, which we trust our audience will be able to relate to. It really is magical.”
Long-time fan Sandra DiRuzzetti wasn’t so sure about the setting of this new movie.
“I dunno, the trailer looked pretty bleak,” DiRuzzetti said. “Normally I like watching these films because they’re always shot on location in some quaint little town, nestled beside some picturesque mountains or romantic river, or in a cozy bookshop or charming cafe. But most of this movie seems to be set in a dank plasma clinic, because from what I could gather the characters are desperate to make some cash so their assets don’t get repo’d? That can’t be right.”
Entertainment reporter Thomas English explained that over-saturation of content often leads to networks trying new things.
“Watching two people fall in love while blood gushes out of their arms might sound a bit unorthodox,” English posited. “But as the public’s appetite for this type of content grows, it puts pressure on networks to come up with new and interesting twists on proven formulas. I’m hearing rumors that fans can expect even more unique content from Hallmark in the coming year, when they will also reportedly be releasing movies where the characters meet serendipitously while at homeless shelters, sperm banks, and even while looking for high-value copper in scrap yards.”
At press time, Hallmark also announced they already greenlit a sequel to “Love Poke” called “Thanksgiving with a Side of Hep-C.”
