ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local bassist Randy Jacobs is reportedly doling out expert advice on maintaining relationships despite being currently band-less and having just finished going…
CEDARBURG, Wisc. — Local school safety officer Jacob Miller quietly admitted he was jealous of a gunman that opened fire on a classroom killing eight…
TACOMA, Wash. — Doctors and nurses across the country were forced to set up triage stations to help treat middle-aged men with soft tissue injuries…
INDIANAPOLIS — Local asshole Brodie Mccaffery had the audacity to burden his work friend Dianne Lin with 100% free, no strings attached concert tickets, multiple…
PHILADELPHIA – A framed show poster for local band Shardcone is a fond reminder of that one night, years ago, when you had sixty dollars.…
WASHINGTON — The Department of Education announced a nationwide initiative to protect America’s police officers from the epidemic of school shootings by creating high-end panic…
WHITTIER, Calif. — Three roommates in southern California enacted extreme water rationing measures to avoid being the one having to refill their shared Brita filter,…
RENO, Nev. — An alarming new study from economists at the University of Nevada revealed that most American punks are currently living parent’s paycheck to…
CHICAGO – Local law enforcement officials reported fielding multiple noise complaints regarding punk music venue The Brine Factory from occupants of the newly opened high-end…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Disney-obsessed middle-aged man Sebastian Werner is to be tried as a minor after allegedly assaulting several guests at the happiest place on…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local 22-year-old religious conservative Blake Howard revealed to a group of friends that he believed life began at “butt stuff,” sources who…
SOUTH HADLEY, Mass. — Freebird Rock n’ Roll Camp counselor Shea Dowd was thrilled to gather his campers around the fire to tell a rock…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local 39-year-old Jillian Rhodes was startled this afternoon after learning that her friend from high school Jordan Hansley is now old, Rhodes’…