I used to set aside fifteen percent of my paycheck for IRAs, savings accounts, and other get-rich-slow schemes. But why am I saving money for…
WASHINGTON — Closeted Republican politicians across the country breathed a collective sigh of relief following Elon Musk’s announcement that likes on X will no longer…
BROOKLINE, Mass. — Local cynic Winston Buckler has panned the joyous advent of the Toyotathon as nothing more than a “way to sell cars,” sources…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Disney’s beloved icon Mickey Mouse was unceremoniously fired after a decades-old airbrushed image of him smoking a joint recently surfaced online, Disney…
MILWAUKEE — Local resident Stephen Calagna found a new and incredibly sad way to take part in Taco Night by slurping his way through the…
If you’re thinking, “wait, the ‘Euphoria’ cast has time to celebrate birthdays in between smashing each other silly within their incestuous peer group, taking every…
AUBURN HILLS, Mich. — George Quinn, an account manager at the Babaco insurance company, recently realized the amount of sheer envy he had for a…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local punk Mike McCutchen is attempting to free solo an imposing 6’4” man blocking the view of the stage during a show at…
CLEVELAND — Local elementary school student Chase Farmer recently found himself in a predicament after winning a skateboarding contest at his local skatepark and being…
This is a longshot, but you were at the Steel Panther show at the Viper Room last Saturday. You had blonde hair (real or bleached?),…
STAMFORD, Conn. — Mayor Shannon Still reiterated her city’s commitment to celebrating lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people by hiring a local artist to paint…
Therapy, whether it be the online variety or the old-school kind where you have to leave your house, has become not only socially acceptable but…