CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas — ICE officer Brendan Williams was disciplined and forced to undergo mandatory callousness training after being caught giving water to a detained…

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas — ICE officer Brendan Williams was disciplined and forced to undergo mandatory callousness training after being caught giving water to a detained…
WASHINGTON — Trump brothers Don Jr. and Eric were witnessed throwing tantrums in the White House halls, insisting their father arrange a “totally awesome” slumber…
WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance once again shared his belief that Americans need to be having more babies, though sources say it’s become increasingly…
LEBANON, Kan. — The Trump administration announced that the Department of Education has been wholly replaced by a giant iPad playing a constant stream of…
HAMDEN, Conn. — A new Quinnipiac University poll suggested that President Trump’s approval ratings hit an all-time high among nine-year-olds whose parents are total dogshit,…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A time capsule that a local punk buried 25 years ago was recently unearthed and discovered to have been filled with nothing…
BOSTON — Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology determined that billionaire and father of 13 Elon Musk is statistically three to four children away…
WASHINGTON — Donald Trump announced that he would be meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin to discuss a number of international policies for his 90-day…
WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — Local Confederate LARPer Dale McKagney was known around town as a loser in his everyday life which coincided with his role-playing life,…
ATLANTA — Local battle rapper Slim Todd Paulson was apparently surprised that so many of his opponents in a recent competition slept with his mother,…
BRAUNAU AM INN, Austria — Democratic Congressman David Eastlund of Nevada bent the rules of time and space as we know it to go back…
HOUSTON — Conspiracy theorist Giovanni Holland took to YouTube today to reveal a new theory alleging Neil Armstrong faked his infamous orgasm during the 1969…