SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Local longboarder Ben Gleekman is still recovering emotionally after he completed folded under pressure when pro skateboarder Eric Koston called out from his car to “do a kickflip,” confirmed sources who have had to listen to their friend think of comebacks for hours.
“I wish I had said something clever like ‘No, YOU do a kickflip, Eric Koston if that’s even you’re real name,’” said Gleekman as he angrily pointed a finger, recreating the conversion he had with himself in the mirror. “But instead I actually attempted to do one and only got the board a quarter way around, landed on the board sideways, and fell on my elbow really fucking hard. The worst part was I was outside the Puff N’ Stuff Vape Shop and everyone inside saw the whole thing. I can’t show my face there ever again — and it’s all Eric Koston’s fault!”
Gleekman’s girlfriend, Vanessa Burd, says even once he left the bathroom the odd behavior continued.
“He’s been walking around for the past couple of days muttering to himself,” said Burd. “At one point I think I heard him say ‘Eric Koston? More like… Barely Flossin’’ which sort of rhymes but definitely isn’t an insult,” said Burd. “The worst part though is that I caught him in the basement with that fucking longboard watching trick tip videos on YouTube. He was able to get the board to flip halfway around so I guess that’s a good start? But honestly, he is 34 and I’d like it if he’d just focus on getting a job.”
Koston, who does the “Do a kickflip” as a video series for The Berrics, says it’s all in good fun and he didn’t mean any harm.
“It’s really not a big deal that he couldn’t do one,” said Koston. “Honestly when I yell out to someone on a longboard it’s pretty much understood they’re not going to be able to do a kickflip. I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to do one on one of those things. And even though he didn’t do it I was still trying to give him a t-shirt and some stickers just to say it’s all good but he just stormed off. I’ll say this though about this guy — he may not be able to skate but damn that dude can run! He took off quick and left a trail of bubblegum-scented vape cloud for half a block.”
As of press time, Gleekman had still not been able to do a kickflip but says he is moving on from longboarding and is looking into getting “one of those sick ass OneWheels.”