NASHUA, N.H. — Local man Ben Beasley’s “Nightmare Before Christmas” tattoo sleeve is a little less shameful now that the sweet spot between Halloween and Christmas is finally here, relieved sources confirmed.
“I really look forward to the cold, crisp fall season so I can finally take off my sweater and enjoy some less disgraceful sleeveless weather. It’s just past Halloween, so the goths stare at it longingly, and right before Christmas, so it’s on trend with the ever-present marketing in every chain store. The judgemental looks drop a lot if the house I’m passing still has a skeleton in the window. Sure, I regret it. I was a big AFI fan. But, also, the movie was pretty good,” said Beasley. “I’ve considered laser removal, but it’s expensive. I’ve also talked to a tattoo artist about blacking it out, but the first thing she asked was, ‘so do you want me to do it just like Davey Havok’s new sleeve?’ I can’t go down that road again.”
Brynlee Morales, a longtime friend, is happy Beasley gets this fleeting moment annually.
“It’s the one time of year people will compliment him and not ask how to get to Spencer’s Gifts. The tattoo isn’t even that bad; it’s just so clearly a decision made in 2005. I wish he’d learn from this, but he keeps making impulsive choices with long-lasting consequences,” said Morales. “Like marrying someone in ‘Second Life.’ Learning it was just a chatbot that knew a lot about B horror movies was pretty devastating for him. I didn’t know you could owe a robot alimony. And that time he promised me he was just sitting through a timeshare presentation for a free hotel room. Who buys a timeshare in Salem, Mass., with blackout dates during Halloween?”
Carter Stanley, the owner of an ever-expanding chain of laser removal franchises, doesn’t see a problem.
“What’s wrong with getting a huge tattoo of your current favorite movie? I think people should be free to express themselves, and if a face tattoo based on ‘Trolls 2: World Tour’ is how you do that, I think that’s a wonderful choice,” said Stanley while counting a stack of $100 bills like a mafia villain. “You should do whatever you want with your body. Also, we have some great deals going on. If you come to remove a cover-up in the same spot we lightened the original, you get 50% off! Come on down!”
At press time, Beasley was considering painting the hardwood floors in his house to match the Pantone color of the year.