ORLAND PARK, Ill. — Local 17-year-old Nick Stultus espoused his libertarian philosophies in every social interaction, even if doing so prevented him from being invited to parties, having a girlfriend or finding a single peer who enjoys his company, according to sources who listened.
“My advanced reasoning skills allow me to recognize how the demands that enslave lesser beings who are shackled by friendships would limit my personal sovereignty,” Stutlus said. “So many people wrongly assume I’d like to waste my weekends driving around, cracking jokes with buddies. But that’s because they’ve been brainwashed into believing coercive human connections and building community are more meaningful than dedicating your Friday and Saturday nights to scouring YouTube for old interviews of Milton Friedman and Ayn Rand.”
Classmate Emmett Merrick questioned Stultus’s self-assessment.
“People don’t avoid Nick because he’s a libertarian; they avoid him because he’s a relentlessly self-righteous asshole,” Merrick claimed. “Since middle school he’s berated me because my parents are public school teachers, making them, in his words, ‘Collectivist Commies.’ He also gets combative with some of the teachers at our high school about how ‘taxation is theft.’ He says their salaries make them accomplices in ‘fiscal crimes against humanity.’ And he never talks about decriminalizing drugs or women having freedom over their own bodies; if he was that kind of libertarian, he might earn some respect and have a friend or two. I think Nick just says he’s a libertarian to give an intellectual veneer to his racist, sexist and classist ignorance. He’s basically a libertarian poseur. He acts like he’s all about personal responsibility, but I bet his mom still makes his lunches.”
Roark Vander Kurt, a men’s rights attorney and author of “Saving the Lone Wolves: Boys In Crisis In Woke America,” sees Stultus as an extreme example of a troubling trend.
“I haven’t met Nick personally but his plight touches me deeply because he epitomizes how our culture victimizes young men whose idealism doesn’t fit the cookie-cutter parameters sanctioned by the American thought-police,“ Vander Kurt said. “Here’s a young man who is cruelly shunned when he should be respected, even celebrated, for his fierce advocacy of free markets, personal liberty and property rights. At least he doesn’t have all those friends getting in the way of him living his life.”
At press time, Vander Kurt blocked Stutlus on X after a DM exchange got testy when the lawyer rejected the young libertarian’s request to chaperone him to a Turning Point USA conference.