NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Local man Brian Langley, who often proclaims he “likes all music except country and rap,” is reportedly feeling vindicated after assault allegations surfaced against music legends Garth Brooks and Sean “Diddy” Combs in recent days, annoyed friends report.
“I’ve been saying for years that country and rap just aren’t my thing. People thought I was crazy for taking such a divisive stand, but with all this news about Garth Brooks and Diddy coming to light my Spotify Wrapped is going to be looking pretty clean,” Langley said after proudly sharing the breaking news about Garth Brooks on social media. “I’ve texted everyone in my contacts list to remind them how much I dislike rap and country. This includes old coworkers, ex-girlfriends, and landlords all because I wanted to rub this in their dumb faces. Most people didn’t seem to care, but that’s probably just because they are so embarrassed right now.”
Friends of Langley say they have been dealing with his selective music snobbery for years.
“Brian’s always been the ‘I listen to real music’ guy,” said Julio River, who has known Langely since college. “But now, he’s acting like a prophet or something. Like he knew all along that country and rap weren’t just bad genres, but morally compromised. It’s exhausting. I mean, yesterday, he basically gave a TED Talk at lunch about how Queens of the Stone Age would never do something like this.”
Dr. Emily Crandall, a music theory expert at the College of DuPage, states this behavior is becoming more common as accusations against high-profile musicians come to light.
“We are seeing a big surge in people using confirmation bias to reinforce the belief that they have the best taste in music. There’s been a notable shift in how fans engage with music in light of these revelations,” Crandall explained. “For people like Brian, who already had a narrow view of what constitutes ‘good music,’ these allegations serve as convenient validation. It’s a way to mask personal taste as some kind of moral high ground. Yet they somehow, conveniently, have a blind spot for bands they will give a pass to artists like Led Zeppelin, Guns ‘N’ Roses, and Jane’s Addiction.”
As of press time, Langley expressed that his convictions have only been confirmed and that he will continue to listen to honorable bands like Foo Fighters.