Hard Drive Archives - Page 216

World Champion Hearthstone Player Defeated by IBM’s Super-Powered Random Number Generator

Jeremy Kaplowitz • August 8, 2017

LAS VEGAS — Reigning Hearthstone champion Pavel Beltukov lost a face off against IBM’s super-powered hearthstone-playing random number generator today,…

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MMA Fighters Spend First Round Figuring out Their Moves

Mark Roebuck • August 7, 2017

NEWARK, N.J. — A match-up on the undercard of last night’s Mayhem at the Metro event began unusually, as both…

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Bran Stark Looks Into Future, Spoils Game of Thrones For Himself

Jeremy Kaplowitz • August 6, 2017

WINTERFELL — Noted greenseer Brandon Stark leaked the future of his family’s story to himself much to his own dismay…

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Mega Man Forced to Absorb Power of Squirrel He Ran Over

Kyle Erf • August 6, 2017

RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — Mega Man was interrupted during routine weekend errands when his van hit and killed a squirrel that…

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Streaming Pioneer: My Older Brother Forced me to Watch Him Play Video Games a Decade Ago

The Hard Times Staff • August 5, 2017

There’s been a lot of talk lately about the growing phenomenon of e-sports and streamers. Tens of thousands of users…

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TV Remote Batteries Called up to the Big Leagues

Tom Scarcella • August 4, 2017

ANAHEIM, Calif. — A promising pair of AA Bexels were promoted to work in an Xbox One controller after a…

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Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats

Jeremy Kaplowitz • August 3, 2017

VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. — Fred and Maria Owens were severely disappointed to discover their newborn baby has absolutely terrible stats…

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Cruel and Unusual: Prison Console for Inmates Only Has Mad Catz Controller

M.J. Amory • August 2, 2017

ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Alleghany County Jail admitted today, in a shocking revelation, that the XBOX it allows prisoners to spend…

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D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy

Dan Kozuh • August 1, 2017

DECATUR, Ga. — A local Dungeons & Dragons collective has ousted their overreaching despot today, in what is being reported…

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The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record

Patrick Coyne • July 31, 2017

WASHINGTON — Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only…

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