“London Calling” is not just a landmark album for punk music. It is a major cornerstone of the entire rock music genre. We went to revisit this masterpiece and do a deep dive into its flawless 20 tracks. Unfortunately, our older brother Todd has the vinyl and he said we can’t because he’s listening to it.
God, he always does this! Guess we could stream the album but it doesn’t sound the same. Mom says she’ll make him give it to us when he’s done listening but we think she’s secretly hoping we’ll find something else to do and forget.
We were gonna play it on our dad’s sick turntable while wearing his vintage 1970’s Toshiba 4-channel stereo headphones. We had this whole anecdote about the first time we heard Lost In The Supermarket but Todd had to go and fucking ruin it.
Okay at least he’s listening to it on speakers and we can kinda hear it through the door. The first five tracks hold up pretty nicely. A little muffled through the door though, plus Todd turned down that one part in the title track where Joe Strummer goes, “alike alike alike” with that cool echo just because he knows we like it.
Hateful is a good song, we guess. It would sound a whole lot better on 180 gram clear vinyl Japanese import that MOM SAID WE ARE SUPPOSED TO SHARE! Talk about a Clampdown. Or maybe not because we can’t figure out what the song is about since it’s impossible to make out the lyrics through the door. Not that they were much help to begin with, that song is pretty vague. We bet Todd doesn’t even know that the brass section was dubbed “The Irish Horns” because he’s a stupid dumb jerkbutt and I’m this close to telling mom.
Okay, we hear “Train in Vain” so he’s gonna be done soon. Damn, was this album always so long? Feels bloated. We’re actually kind of bored with this and we’re just gonna watch Twin Peaks instead. Wait, where are my DVDs? Dammit Todd, give them back. You stalled out in Season 2. You aren’t going to finish it! Mom!!