Blink-182 fans across the country were shocked to see the ticket prices for the band’s upcoming tour. Now, divorced fathers everywhere are wondering how they’re going to afford $750 tickets to hear Tom DeLonge sing about fucking a dog.
However, one wealthy family of superfans is unfazed by these high ticket prices and has even made plans to attend multiple dates of the tour. After refreshing Ticketmaster for the eighth time to see that even the cheapest seats are still going for hundreds of dollars, we sat down with sisters Kim and Kourtney Kardashian to learn about the only family wealthy enough to afford Blink tickets.
The Hard Times: Thanks for taking the time to sit down with us. What exactly do you do for a living?
Kim: I’m a businesswoman and a part-time law student but I also work in the television industry with my family. Do you ever watch reality shows on Hulu?
Sometimes. But we might have to cancel our staff subscription if we want to go to any more reunion shows. Speaking of that, do you think it’s unfair that people have to pay so much for these tickets?
Kourtney: I don’t think so. You know, we’re not Bezos-rich or anything. We’re more upper-middle class. My hubby Travis is always producing new material for Machine Gun Kelly and Lil Huddy just to make ends meet.
Kim: Personally, I’m with Kourt on this one. If you want to see your favorite band reunite, get your fucking ass up and work. I don’t know why nobody wants to work these days. It’s just a few hours of photoshoots here and there, maybe a confessional or two if your show is filming that day. Work sucks, I know. But it all pays off in the end.
Sure it does. So do you think Blink-182 is charging too much for tickets?
Kourtney: I don’t understand why so many people are complaining. My assistant spends twice that amount on decorative organic fruit for my kitchen. I think people will find any excuse to complain.
Kim: I’m more worried about the fact that we can only afford to travel to maybe five or six dates. Jet fuel is really expensive right now. It’s nearly impossible to get anywhere without my accountant saying something like “if you keep spending this much on private travel I won’t get my yearly bonus.” It’s like “hello, selfish much?”