When you enter the world of politics, you are no longer just a person; you’re a brand. Everything you say publicly has to match that brand, that singular energy that defines your public perception. That’s why even leaders as loquacious as Donald Trump need help from time to time.
When news broke of Rob Reiner’s tragic and mysterious passing, Trump knew he had to say something to his people, something that acknowledged the event as cryptically and suspiciously as possible, but he was tired and still recovering from diaper rash. Luckily, the White House keeps a writer on retainer so in touch with Trump’s trademark chaos and ghoulishness that his voice is practically indistinguishable from that of our current President.
We sat down with the man who penned the eulogy that now has America asking, “Wait, did Trump kill Rob Reiner?”
The Hard Times: Thank you for taking the time to speak with us today.
The Joker: It’s an absolute pleasure.
HT: People are calling Trump’s post on Rob Reiner tasteless, petty, and needlessly divisive. How are you able to capture the voice of our president so well?
J: I get Trump. When he first came onto the political scene with his scandals and his abuse allegations and his Hitler playbook, I thought to myself, “I like him already!” He understood that this country needed an enema, that resonated with me.
HT: This is a totally random and bizarre tragedy, and when news of it first broke, people weren’t associating it with the President at all. Why was the president so determined to insert himself into such a macabre event?
J: Well, it seems you just answered your own question, friend. People weren’t talking about Trump. Our president will be god damned if he lets a random act of violence take attention away from him for even a moment. By dying in a manner completely unrelated to the president, Reiner was rubbing another man’s rubarb!
HT: Well, the Truth post certainly turned that around. I have to say this almost reads like a ghoulish confession. IS our takeaway supposed to be that maybe Trump had Rob Reiner killed?
J: I’ll say this — you wanna make an omelet, you gotta break a few eggs. Maybe one of those eggs directed “Spinal Tap,” who’s to say?
HT: Some have criticized the post as tasteless exploitation. How do you respond to that?
J: “Thank you” comes to mind. But really, taste pertains to art, and art is subjective. That’s what I am you see, I’m an artist. I have a vision.
HT: How would you best describe that vision?
J: Trump’s face on the hundred-dollar bill.
HT: That’s… okay. But don’t you think it’s a little disrespectful to use the tragic death of a beloved American director for a cheap political jab so soon after his passing?
J: Ever seen “North”?
HT: Again, too soon!
J: Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
HT: Thank you for your time we have to leave immediately.
