Ah, summer is in the air, and so is opportunity – the opportunity to meet someone new and exciting, and turn them into a Pulp fan. But how will you subtly go about introducing this person to the most underrated band of the nineties by way of seducing them? We here at The Hard Times present our guide to .
Stake Out Your Target
Friday night, go out with the intention of meeting a summer fling who could also be converted into a fan of Pulp. Your best bet will probably be a sports bar. The bar portion of a comedy club will suffice. Avoid dive bars, as any prospect there will hear the name Jarvis Cocker and begin proliferating on the brilliance of “Different Class”. Once you’ve determined they are a suitable candidate for a summer fling, you can begin.
Plant The Seed
Start by arguing Star Trek vs. Star Wars then segue into William Shatner chatter. Before you know it his music career has come up and pillow talk can turn into watching a YouTube rip of his 2004 cover of “Common People”.
Lure Them In
Two weeks in, take a walk at sunset along a pier or boardwalk. Split a pair of AirPods and play them “Bar Italia” while lamenting how you would have been at Glastonbury on June 25, 2011 when they played a surprise set in-between Tame Impala and James Blake, but you were 16 living in the suburbs of Boston and your parents never would have let you. As the song ends, sigh and say you never want that song or this summer to end while running your finger down their arm, infatuating your fling with the moment and cementing the soundtrack to your in their mind as Pulp.
Seal The Deal
The Sunday night of Labor Day weekend, post a small selection from “F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E” on your Instagram story (which they watch religiously) with a picture vaguely related to a romantic night out the two of you had. Once you see the song pop up on their Spotify listening history, text them back and say you had a lot of fun this summer but don’t see this turning into anything long term. This will inflict maximum emotional damage and therefore guarantee a new lifelong Pulp fan has been born.