When a woman joins a group of all men–whether it be a night out with her boyfriend’s bros, a conversation at the water cooler, or the comments under some hot nineteen-year-old TikToker’s post–she will eventually be accused of trying to break up that group. She’s trying to steal her man away from his friends; she’s stifling guy talk at the office; she’s ruining the vibe by asking about the hot teen’s sweater instead of bookmarking for later.
Her mere presence makes her a Yoko–an archetype and phenomenon named for Ms. Ono’s apparent role in breaking up The Beatles, a band of hard-headed, egomaniacal men who would still be touring together today if she hadn’t come along and brutally married John Lennon.
Blaming a woman for the actions of a group of men is laughably offensive. It’s textbook misogyny.
But if their issues were her fault, how exactly do we think she went about it? And how long did it take? Would a marketer at a startup and his semi-employed buddies from college who all live together in a basement unit (that we were supposed to share) be susceptible to the same techniques?
Any given group of four or so guys is likely not as talented as The Beatles–or Yoko–so I’m not worried about having to be the voice in anyone’s ear, convincing him he’s better off without the others holding him back. They’re not holding him back. He’s not doing anything. Wait, did Yoko also have to convince John not to be a total loser?
I’m willing to be completely derivative if it works. In 1969, Yoko Ono made and released Self-Portrait, a short film that was just 42 minutes of John Lennon’s John Thomas. Is alienating, experimental art of Liverpudlian pud my gateway into Yoko-ing? If given the right tool, I think I could be really good at this.
I’m not saying I could ever crack the glass ceilings that Yoko shattered 50 years ago. She’s one of our greatest living feminist villains. I just want to follow in her footsteps (or the Memory of Footsteps from her 2009 album Between My Head and the Sky). I’m not looking to be the boogieman to four super-talented British guys for a decade. I just need the bathroom to be free more often.