Dear You Know Who You Are,
I have something I need to get off my chest. I am writing you today because you need to know how I feel about the situation at hand. In addition to this, the general public also needs to know how I feel about this particular situation. I want every man, woman, and child surfing the internet in their sweat pants at 2 a.m. to know exactly how I feel and exactly what you did.
I will start this letter by letting you (and everyone else) know how much I love and admire you. I have for years. I have supported you time after time even when others told me not to. I need everyone to know I have always been in your corner. I want to make it perfectly clear that I have defended you in the past because I can defend you no longer and I’m about to spend the rest of this letter shitting on you and letting everyone know what a piece of shit you are.
I am not a heartless monster. You have pushed me to my limits and therefore pushed me to this very public confrontation that is certain to destroy your reputation forever.
You’ve offended me, maybe what you did seemed small to you at the time but it was a big deal. And I’m about to make what you did an even bigger deal. Because I am about to make your actions less about you, and more about a grand social issue. I would argue it is the single biggest issue of our time. What you did was inexcusable and it needs to be addressed, now. Or we are all doomed.
Related: You Need to Stop Using the Word ‘Dumb,’ It’s Offensive to Absolute Fucking Morons
Yes, this could have been a short 10-minute discussion just between us. But I’m not trying to express these thoughts just to you. I am trying to start a wider dialog. Something think pieces will be published about, something that will go viral and will get me tons of positive and you tons of negative attention. Hopefully, someone will read this open letter and write an additional open letter back to me, creating more discussion around this massive and complicated issue.
Despite this very long and very public accusation, I love you. This letter was not created to berate you personally. It was to help you see the error of your ways, but more importantly the error of society’s ways. In the end, this doesn’t have anything to do with us personally. This is about humanity as a whole. And yes, I’m making you the root of all evil and the largest threat to society in this letter, but it’s really not about that, man. I hope you take everything I have said to heart in a positive way and know there is always room to grow.
In closing, if any of that wasn’t clear enough, I’ll leave you with this final thought: Cindy, if I have leftovers in the fridge, those are MY LEFTOVERS, don’t fucking touch them next time. Got it? GOOD!
Article by Elizabeth Teets @elizabethteets