To the untrained eye, Josh Dibbets is an average 39-year-old male. He lives in a condo with his uncle, has a robust DVD collection, and likes to order food on Uber Eats. But after one quick hang session, you’ll find the topic of conversation always confoundingly leads Josh to the same conclusion — “The greatest album of all-time is lowkey the Angus soundtrack.” For years, doctors believed him to have some type of rare, undefined mental illness, but in reality, Josh just really really really really really likes the Angus soundtrack.
“You gotta put yourself in my shoes. When the Angus soundtrack came out, I was nine. It completely shattered my pre-existing worldview, and I knew, ‘this is it.’ This is what I want to do with my life,” Josh tries to explain. But how does one do the Angus soundtrack with their life? “Let me put it to you this way,” Josh clarifies, “The Angus soundtrack is lowkey the best album of all time.”
While this outlook may seem puerile or even fucking stupid, there is a refreshing quality to Josh’s unwavering dedication to an otherwise random CD he owned in prepubescence. Staying true to one’s childhood preoccupations requires an almost monk-like asceticism, which admittedly may have been better suited towards more altruistic pursuits, but nonetheless displays an indomitable spirit possessed by few. Josh, nearly moved to tears by this sentiment, adds, “Dude, they even got a Smoking Popes song on here!”
However, Josh is finding out the hard way that such steadfast dedication to an original motion picture soundtrack from 1995 is not exactly paying dividends. Unemployed for most of his adult life, Josh does not even qualify for disability because, according to the U.S. Department of Labor’s website, really liking the Angus soundtrack does not meet the necessary criteria. “The system is set up for guys like me to fail. This current administration, and every one before it, quite frankly, have done nothing for our community and clearly think the Empire Records soundtrack is better.”
Unfortunately, our desire to ask follow-up questions, of which there were many, was outweighed by a sudden impulse to get the fuck out of there. Forget about all that indomitable spirit stuff I said, this guy is so annoying! And then his uncle came home, and things only got weirder from there. We listened to the Angus soundtrack. The Green Day song and the Weezer song were good, and the rest was whatever.
