We’ve all heard it before: “This one trick will CHANGE your life! Click here to find out what it is!” which usually leads to endless clicking and a compromised bank account. Well let me tell you something, I was once a disbeliever as well! Just an average Joe clickin’ around the web just looking for that sweet deal that keeps the bill collectors at bay.
I was recently looking for home insurance and wading through the waters of their intriguing but half-empty promises when I saw the ad that changed it all. They claimed to possess a trick that insurance companies DO NOT want me to know. I thought, “Yeah right… like those folks are going to just let that slide”.
I clicked the ad and was instantly astounded! “Wow” I thought to myself. How does anyone else not know about this? The secret was right there all along!
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I decided that I was going to use the insurance companies own trick against them!
My first order of business was to burn my house down. I know you’re asking yourself “Why would this idiot burn their own house down?”. Well, here’s the thing: When the cops showed up to my flaming home I immediately and proudly proclaimed “I am not at fault for this fire and you absolutely cannot prove that I am!”.
Now, if you’re going to pull this scam, try to make sure the responding officer isn’t some kind of super cop who can apparently taste lies. This cop must have read a similar article along the lines of “The one trick that people who burn their houses down for money DON’T want you to know!” because he did NOT bite. Well, luck of the draw I guess! .
Anyway I am doing a little time upstate now but my methods are still working their charm in here. All the guys in my cell think I have “connections” because I told them I did. I just need to figure out one simple trick to get 14 cartons of cigarettes in here by noon tomorrow or I’m a dead man.
Article by Jesse Irvin @NoJesseNoGlory
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