Ever find yourself in desperate desire of being noticed by your crush, but despite everything you do, he still doesn’t seem to even know you exist? Look no further: we have the perfect guide to finally getting him to look your way, the first step being emerging from the shrubs where you’ve been secretly crouched for hours on end.
Girl, get out of those bushes!
We know it’s hard, as bushes provide a veil of secrecy unrivaled by most other foliage. But the first step to being noticed by your crush, or anyone for that matter, is revealing your hiding place. He might be surprised or shocked at first, exclaiming something like: “Have you just been crouching here behind me for the past 3 hours?” But look on the bright side: at least he is talking to you! In five year’s time, you’ll be telling your children this story.
Brush off those leaves
Don’t forget to brush off the leaves and dirt that have accumulated while you were burrowed deep in the encompassing tresses of the bush. After all, you want to look your best when you abruptly appear in front of him. At the same time, you don’t want to make it look like you’re trying too hard, so it can’t hurt to leave on one or two sticks so he doesn’t think you did yourself up just for him. Once you have emerged from the leaves and cleaned yourself up, he will have no choice but to say: “Seriously, have you been spying on me? And why are you wearing a disguise?”
Take off your disguise
If you really want your crush to notice you, you will have to go beyond just emerging from your hiding place, and will also have to remove your trench coat and fake mustache that have been keeping your identity a secret all this time. This step can also be hard, as your disguise has allowed you to move in stealth even when there aren’t any nearby bushes. But think about it this way: don’t you want him to see you for who you are? Not a mustached man, but, in fact, a shy girl who has been watching him from the bushes for the past six years?
Prepare an exit
The most important part of a conversation with your crush is the dismount. Your last step is to find a smooth and suave way of returning to the bushes, so suave that he might leave thinking the whole thing was a hallucination. If, through the binoculars, he looks like he’s beginning to doubt the reliability of his own senses, that’s a sign he likes you!