Jonathan Lipnicki! That’s that little fucker’s name; I knew I would get it. I really should download the IMDB app. Just not right now; there’s not enough time. La di doo la di dee…Holy fucking shit!
Wow, ok, there is fully a person in the passenger seat of that Toyota Camry parked next to me, and I just locked eyes with them. I’m not sure if it was a man or a woman, but I shan’t be looking again! Just play it cool. You’ve done nothing wrong; they’re the aggressor. Can you even hear through a car door into another car? That’s like, two car doors of pure steel! Or whatever car doors are made out of. No way they could hear the farts I was ripping. Was I even talking before, or was I just thinking of stuff? Fuck, I did sing that Phil Collins song from the Tarzan movie loud as shit. I was just killing time!
What is this freak doing anyways? You like to watch, freak? You enjoy the show, safe inside your little darkened sedan, all sitting there like a statue wearing a…oh fuck, I just looked again! It’s a hoodie; they’re wearing a hoodie! Of course, the standard uniform for any self-respecting pervert. Probably a bunch of balled-up tissues in there, but I won’t be looking again, that’s for sure! Do they live in the car? Is that what’s going on here? I thought I saw a blanket in there.
Maybe I should just park in a different spot. Or would that make this weirder? I’d prefer to not have to explain any of this to my wife, who, I might add, is taking a pretty long fucking time to pick up her prescription. You know, it used to be that a man could just sit back and relax in his parked car to freely fart and make unconscious noises without the interference of some car-dwelling vagabond snooping around and acting weird! Oh my god, look, they’re talking to themselves now. That is unhinged! Or wait, maybe they’re on the phone actually.
Oh shit, someone’s walking up to the car. What is that they’re holding, a bag of pills? Is this some kind of drug deal? Ok they’re getting into the car…and they’re fleeing; they’re absconding the scene. Wow. That was weird…Wheeeeeen the dogs do find her, got time, time to wait for tomorroooooooooow, ja find herrrrr, ja find herrrrr, ja find herrrrrrrrrrrr.
