R.L. Stine Wondering If He Should Also Become an Insufferable Transphobe
NEW YORK — Beloved children’s author R.L. Stine was wondering if he should alienate a large swath of people who…
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Steve Packosky — Page 9
211 stories found
“Lateralus” Played on Loop Overnight Causes iPhone to Become Self-Aware
KANNAPOLIS, N.C. — An iPhone 13 owned by IT professional Justin Deeling achieved sentience after he accidentally left progressive metal…
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Why the “Don’t Tread On Me” Bumper Sticker on My Car Means I Don’t Have to Use My Turn Signal
Move over, cuck! You’re wrong for assuming you’d receive the same courtesy you show to others, because around here, I…
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Math Rock Band Submits New Album for Peer Review Before Releasing
WALTERBORO, S.C. — Math rock band SKULK submitted their newest album “Infinities of Perplexion” for peer review before releasing it…
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MAGA Rapper’s Career Takes Off After Sexual Misconduct Allegations
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Up and coming MAGA rapper Shilla Flo found his career reaching new heights after sexual harassment…
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5 Great Podcast Ideas for Senators Who Just Don’t Feel Like Doing Their Jobs
UGH, constituents, am I right? Constantly asking you to do things like legislate on their behalf and act in their…
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I’m the Nu-Metal Ice Cream Truck Driver From Coal Chamber’s Self-Titled Album Cover, and I’m Pleased To Announce My New Expanded Menu
Nu-metal really was a fantastically underrated genre, and society has suffered from it not being in the mainstream for the…
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Death Metal Guitarist Adds Beautifully Melodic, Neo-Classical Solo to Song About Necrophilia
WATERVILLE, Maine — Lead guitarist Lloyd Weil of band Visceral Stench surprised his bandmates by adding an unbelievably intricate solo…
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Wall of Death Resumes After Peace Talks Fail
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A particularly violent wall of death during an Exodus concert continued after peace talks failed to reach…
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Now He’s Gone Too Far: Vladimir Putin Just Said “Diabolus in Musica” Is Slayer’s Best Album
Few leaders are as internationally reviled as Russian president Vladimir Putin. Whether he’s unlawfully invading his neighboring countries or meddling…
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