March 4, 2026
STANFORD, Calif. — A psychological study at Stanford University found that 85% of participants would willingly drink kerosene if the…
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March 2, 2026
You know, I really don’t understand why everyone in my life is telling me that I haven’t amounted to anything.…
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March 2, 2026
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Garage punk band Diarrhea Planet issued an apology for releasing good music after having chosen such an…
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February 28, 2026
Ow! Fuckshitfuck, that burns. People put ice on razor burn all the time, so I just figured dry ice would…
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February 27, 2026
CENTRE ISLAND, N.Y. — Popular singer/songwriter Billy Joel revealed that his 1973 hit “Piano Man” is actually about a nightmarish…
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February 27, 2026
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio — Local conservative Karl Stokes decided to go back to being angry about Critical Race Theory after realizing…
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February 26, 2026
NEW YORK — Landlord Ronald Fastings had a tip jar on display in his office at Z&O Real Estate Holdings,…
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February 26, 2026
CHICAGO — American multinational fast food chain McDonald’s revealed the new Filet-O-Silverfish, a sandwich developed in order to circumvent crippling…
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February 24, 2026
LOS ANGELES — President Donald Trump offered the position of Ambassador to Paraguay to Douglas Smith, the security guard seen…
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February 22, 2026
PHOENIX — American metal band Five Finger Death Punch is tapped to perform at this year’s commencement ceremony at the…
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