HARDTIMES

January 9, 2021

Fellow citizens, let me ask you a question: how many bananas do you have in your possession right now? Do…

January 4, 2021

GARREG MACH — Officers Academy professor Byleth expressed frustration today at the continued restrictions on in-person instruction for their Wyvern…

October 11, 2020

NEW YORK — Billionaire industrialist Tony Stark announced a proposal today that would solve the ongoing climate crisis by shooting…

October 7, 2020

Okay, first off, I don’t even know why we’re having this Emergency Meeting. Don’t get me wrong, Yellow’s death is…

September 18, 2020

CLOCK TOWN, Termina — Clock Town resident and Stock Pot Inn owner Anju, 17, reported confusion today after struggling to…

June 28, 2020

AUSTIN, Texas — Local graphic design student Rachel Valdez expressed frustration this week after realizing her Intro to Photoshop class…

June 20, 2020

SALEM, N.H. — Local gamer father Jack Ruebens has announced he will stop attempting to forge a relationship with his…

March 18, 2020

In our political climate, there is no lack of problems to be solved. Climate change, student loan debt, trade disputes.…

March 9, 2020

It’s Friday, and you know what that means: the boys are coming over for a sleepover! Mom just tidied up…