PEEKSKILL, N.Y. — A neglected acoustic guitar belonging to local man Phil Everett reportedly plays itself to sleep each night in an effort to escape…
Meeee-owwww! Isn’t food great? The way it tastes, the way it smells, the way my little kitty cat body involuntarily begins to float through the…
NEW YORK — Recently discovered journals from the founder of the famed punk and hardcore club CBGB revealed that the venue’s name originally stood for…
EASTON, Pa. — Art supply company, Crayola, is releasing a new crayon color named “Hammer Smashed Face Red” to coincide with the release of an…
LAS VEGAS — Former Vice President Mike Pence dropped out of the 2024 presidential race Saturday after grazing a door knob previously touched by a…
In 2014, Barry Johnson, lead singer of Joyce Manor, asked fans to stop stage diving at their shows. Johnson was sick of seeing (mostly) larger…
WASHINGTON — Commander Biden, President Joe Biden’s two-year-old German Shepard, reportedly bit every single Republican in the House of Representatives before seizing the body’s speakership,…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local 20-year-old hardcore kid Cody Macklin remains ignorant to the fact that he is celebrating his last Edge Day this year, disappointed,…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local woman Carissa Whitley was reportedly billed 500 million dollars during a recent visit to Riverside Veterinary Center with her 3-year-old Labrador…
BOSTON — Recently sober man, Brad McBride, is consuming non-alcoholic beers with a ruthlessness comparable to the way he used to consume alcoholic beers, worried…
CAW CAW CAW Hey you! Yeah, you! Can I get some help over here? I’ve been stuck in this fucking red ball of yarn since…