Ryan Dondero, Author at HARDTIMES

October 26, 2024

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local punk Roxy Molloy reportedly invited guests to bob for cigarettes at her annual Halloween party…

October 7, 2024

MOORESVILLE, N.C. — Lowe's executives announced plans to introduce a 14-foot tall Glenn Danzig ahead of the upcoming Halloween season,…

October 2, 2024

Names used to mean something. They carried weight, tradition, and integrity. But not, apparently, for Wildflower Trading Post and Gifts—an…

September 23, 2024

Go ahead and throw on a pair of thick, soft mittens or find a nice plush bath towel to place…

August 30, 2024

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Jack White issued a strongly worded cease and desist letter on a one-of-a-kind 7” forbidding the Republican…

May 9, 2024

NEW YORK — Local poser James Morgan reportedly wore a bald cap over his luscious head of hair in order…

March 23, 2024

Someone has got to stop him. He keeps doing it and it’s not funny. It wasn’t funny the first time…

March 1, 2024

Oh shit. Oh fuck. I messed up so bad. This was NOT what I expected AT ALL. Adopting this portion…

January 30, 2024

KERFUFFLEVILLE — Bozo, a punk mouse living in the fictional children’s book town of Kerfuffleville, has reportedly taken up residence…

January 13, 2024

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local punk, Joel Locke, reportedly mistook a waitress’s inherent kindness as an invitation to make her watch…