DESERTED ISLAND — Villagers on the island you helped populate haven’t noticed your multi-month absence, according to reporters who recently visited. “Steve… Steve. Was he…
CHICAGO — Cinephile Brad Reznik attended a showing of Tenet, despite dangers associated with the COVID-19 pandemic, for the opportunity to explain the high-concept sci-fi…
Opinion: Pikmin 3 Deluxe Re-Release Comes Just in Time to Teach Children the Value of Mass Sacrifice
Opinion: Pikmin 3 Deluxe Re-Release Comes Just in Time to Teach Children the Value of Mass Sacrifice
Our nation’s schools are facing a crisis — not a crisis of health, but a crisis of fear. Parents, misinformed by the liberal media, seem…
Much has been said about millennials’ financial struggles. Many drown in debt while doing little more than hanging out on the beach, hanging out with…
CHICAGO — Freelance marketing writer Jim Podaski reportedly channeled his inner “Mad Men” protagonist Don Draper today for his latest blog post for Cheap Used…
Eeek! You wish to know about A Bug’s Life? What a wretched film. Such horror. Repugnance! Good heavens. Watching it, I struggle to maintain my…
CHICAGO — Dungeons & Dragons player Joanna Bateman claimed her natural 20 should be recognized even though the die went through a Rube Goldberg machine…
YOSHI’S ISLAND — Beloved dinosaur and Super Smash Bros. fighter Yoshi became the proud parent of Captain Falcon seconds after consuming him, sources say, lending…
CEDAR RAPIDS, Mich. — After months of deliberation during a contentious Democratic primary, voters are beginning to wonder whether a Normal-type Presidential candidate is even…
CHICAGO — Competitive Super Smash Bros. player Greg Bradley holds true to his principles beyond the game, refusing to use items in the bedroom, sources…
EDMONTON, Canada — BioWare teased an exciting Halloween event for its Anthem player, Kenny Simons, in a press release sent out to reporters. “We’re thrilled…
NEW YORK — Rebecca Sheenan showed there’s still kindness in the world when she gave up her seat to a fellow passenger playing his Nintendo…
GOLDENROD CITY — A Bellsprout left at the Pokémon Day Care Center on Route 34 is getting pretty sick of fucking, sources in his inner…