Page 6 – HARDTIMES

August 29, 2020

PITTSBURGH — A recent attempt at invigorating the intimacy of Dana Boyer’s relationship with an avid role-playing fanatic ended horribly…

August 27, 2020

CARY, N.C. — A disgruntled but loyal Fortnite player has offered an unsolicited 14-point plan to completely fix the most…

August 24, 2020

SEATTLE — Apple’s latest addition to its signature line of products was revealed today, an American twenty dollar bill whose…

August 20, 2020

WASHINGTON — Former Donald Trump advisor Steve Bannon was arrested yesterday on charges of reportedly devouring skiers at the bottom…

August 19, 2020

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Darcy Martin, an alleged superfan of original video game soundtracks, has revealed that he has never actually…

August 15, 2020

SEATTLE — In response to the escalating tension between Apple and Epic, masses of angry gamers have taken to the…

August 14, 2020

EAST LANSING, Mich. — Diddy Kong is the latest celebrity to stand accused of using his celebrity status to bypass…

August 8, 2020

OUTWORLD — Two participants, who by all accounts appeared to be exact replicants of one another, were reportedly grateful to…

August 4, 2020

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recently called into Hannity to boast about the minimal help he needed beating the entire…

July 25, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Filming resumed on Jeopardy! this week, featuring a modified production that emphasizes social distancing, temporarily cutting the…