Help! I’m Pretty Good at My Job and It’s Ruining My Music Career
Boy, is my life in shambles these days. I just got promoted to district manager of Omega Printz and it’s…
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Jon Swihart
9 stories found
If I’m Such an Alcoholic How Come I’m Still Good to Drive?
Listen pussies, I’m not going to “tone down” my drinking just because you claim I have a problem. Sure, my…
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Boring! This Coughing Person Only Has Antibiotic-Resistant Tuberculosis
Some people know how to get with the times. Others? Not so much. Andy Serrano is a troglodyte of the…
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When This Vinyl Newbie Wanted to Share Our Enthusiasm for Records, We Banded Together to Make Him Feel Stupid and Inferior
We could tell the instant Jacob Spivey walked into Sunnyside Music that he didn’t know a single thing about records.…
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As a Feminist, I Like to Think of Them as Matriarchs I’d Like to Fuck
Since my transformation from a nice guy (but like, a legit actual nice guy) to a certified male feminist last…
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Opinion: Music Used to Be Way Better Back When I Was on Drugs
I hate to be one of “those guys,” but I’m starting to notice that music nowadays sucks. I can’t quite…
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This Music Festival Just Released the Lineup of Drugs You’ll Be Taking
Although Coachella and Paradiso have come and gone, existing now only as a vape cloud of fragmented memories in our…
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We Interviewed the Guy Who Puts Band Stickers Inside Urinals and He Touched a Lot of Stuff in Our Office
We’ve all seen them: band stickers inside of urinals, the part where pee goes, and wondered who puts them there…
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Concept Album’s Message Pretty Obvious One Song in
SEATTLE — Local singer/songwriter Brant Miller released a conceptual folk-pop epic today that’s clearly about getting back with his ex-girlfriend,…
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