Jeremy Kaplowitz, Author at HARDTIMES

We Forced People at Comic Con to Look at Sonic Porn (And It Backfired)

March 14, 2020

Written by Jeremy Kaplowitz, Giovanni Colantonio, Liam O'Malley, and Jeremy Hammond. Edited by Jeremy Kaplowitz Filmed by Giovanni Colantonio Starring…

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Donald Trump Insists He Found Mew Under Truck in Pokémon Red

March 14, 2020

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump is being attacked by prominent Democrats today after he claimed he found Mew under a…

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Police Manhunt Underway for Man Who Didn’t Pay for WinRAR License After 40 Day Trial

March 13, 2020

FRESNO, Calif. — New police helicopter video shows the massive response to accused WinRAR License thief Michael Ramsey as fifteen…

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Dr. Mario Stitches Up Three Goombas in a Stack for Horrifying ‘Goomba-Centipede’ Experiment

March 12, 2020

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — The perverted Dr. Mario has disgraced the medical community once again after stitching together three goomba victims…

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CDC Puts Temporary Ban on Playing Assassin’s Creed II

March 10, 2020

WASHINGTON — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has placed a temporary ban on playing the game Assassin’s Creed…

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Throwaway Reddit Account Does Nothing to Obscure User’s Identity

March 10, 2020

MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Justin Curry’s post on Reddit’s r/relationship_advice under the username u/throwawaythekeys92 did absolutely nothing to hide his identity…

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