SACRAMENTO — Video game speedrunner Ashton Clemens insisted that a significant portion of his girlfriend’s orgasms were completed incorrectly, arguing that manual orgasms with non-modified…
BOSTON — Christian speedrunning group ReveRuns posted a declaration today, titled “Life Begins at Loading,” which makes an impassioned plea that all speedruns should begin…
MOSCOW — A secret agent embedded deep within the Russian military reportedly can’t stop monkeying around with the cyanide pill he keeps in his mouth…
MIDVALE, Utah — In an attempt to invigorate his students with a passion for learning, AP U.S. History teacher Frederick Clemens decided half-way through the…
SEATTLE — A time traveler from 1994 has awoken to a world altered by 24 years of technological, social, and cultural change, but was reportedly…
LAKEVILLE, Minn. — Easton Clemens, 17, added his considerable video gaming expertise to his resume in hopes of gaining an edge in the fast-paced food…