There are certain expectations that come with being a punk, such as a love of music that the average citizen finds abrasive and unpleasant, and a general do-it-yourself ethic coupled with a rejection of societal norms and the capitalist institutions that shape our culture and consumption. As such, it’s always surprising when we come across a so-called “punk” who doesn’t ascribe to this ethos. Case in point: we just came across a guy who knows his credit score.
What a fucking poser!
Meet 28-year-old “punk” David Fleckenstein of Chicago, Illinois. Despite adhering to the lifestyle we all know and love in almost every facet of his life, including music tastes largely consisting of bands like Minor Threat and Discharge, an appalling fashion sense, and a diet almost exclusively comprised of cigarettes and Pabst Blue Ribbon, David deviates heavily from his clique by responsibly monitoring his creditworthiness with platforms like Equifax and Credit Karma.
What in the actual fuck is up with that?
We would be repulsed at the knowledge that David even knows what a credit score is in the abstract, because we certainly could not demonstrate anything more than a dim awareness of it, and we certainly have no idea what our personal scores are or what that would even entail. After all, we’re not fucking posers like he is, which means that our scores are probably pretty bad, whatever that means. Anyway, David’s credit score is 758, like that means anything to us. A quick Google search told us that it’s above average, which means that David is almost certainly gainfully employed and responsible with his money. What a piece of shit.
Is punk dead? We mean, it has to be if somebody like this can still be considered punk. The word has basically lost all meaning, right? What’s next for David? Is he going to purchase a house? Become an executive at a Fortune 500 Company? Start eating vegetables and showering regularly? Honestly, we don’t even want to know. In the meantime, you’re going to have to do us a favor and call David out on his behavior if you happen to run into him, as we can’t have his status as an upstanding member of society giving the rest of us a bad name.
