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Gunshot Awakens Donald Trump at White House Correspondents’ Dinner

WASHINGTON — Stunned onlookers at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner are still reeling after a gunshot awakened President Donald Trump from a peaceful nap on the dais. 

“I was just feet away from the shooter when he roused the President from his slumber,” recalled a clearly shaken Wolf Blitzer. “I will never forget the terror of seeing Mr. Trump go from a state of adorable slumber to droopy-eyed, half-conscious apathy. He probably thought the Oval Office press conference was over.”

At press time, a delirious Trump was whispering, ”Nap! Nap!” with his fist half raised in the air in a safe room at an undisclosed location.

This is a breaking story, and we’ll have more as it develops.