Oh hell yeah. We can’t believe we landed an interview with legendary Misfits guitarist Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein, and we only had to tell one lie in order to do it. He apparently was only interested in talking about fitness and nutrition, so when we said we were the popular wellness magazine Men’s Health, he eagerly accepted. We figured we could just work around that little fib and get him to talk to us about punk music. Unfortunately, that’s not how things panned out:
The Hard Times: Hi Doyle, it’s great to meet you!
Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein: Likewise. Happy to be here.
HT: So how’ve you been?
DWF: I just finished leg day. Front squats, hack squats, seated leg curls and leg extension. I’m exhausted, but I’m sure you know how it is.
HT: Uh…yeah. We definitely know what you just said.
DWF: I was actually hoping to get some advice from you guys on nutrition. I’ve obviously been scaling my carb intake with training volume, and lately I’ve been feeling kind of flat while at the gym, so I’m starting to suspect I’m undercarbed. I’ve been thinking about adding 30-60 grams pre-workout to my diet and maybe a more easily digestible version intra-workout. Do you have any recommendations?
HT: Hmm…carbs?
DWF: Yeah, that’s what I said.
HT: Oh, we just ate some Takis. Does that count?
DWF: Takis? I haven’t heard of that. Is it a gel?
HT: No…it, uh, comes in a solid.
DWF: Great! I’ll have to look into those. Hopefully they’ll be able to help, especially since I’ve started doing interval training. I’ve been closing out lifting sessions with shuttle sprints to boost natural HGH and aid in muscle recovery, and I need a little boost.
HT: Yeah, we know how that is. Hey, do you want to maybe talk about your time in the Misfits and how that relates to…exercise?
DWF: Oh, sorry, I gotta run! I need to go home and eat to make sure I stay in my caloric surplus. It was great talking to you guys!
And that’s it. Sorry, we didn’t get a chance to talk about music, but we suppose it was still cool that we got to sit down with him. Now we’re going to go brush up on S&M before our interview with Fat Mike, because he thinks we’re from Kink.
