NEW YORK – Many Americans are left unsure of the facts as news outlets across the country are unable to confirm the news as the horrors in the Middle East continue to unfold, according to multiple confused sources.
“ I locked myself out of my computer by typing in the wrong password too many times. I could have sworn it was OliviaMunn1989 but maybe I changed it? I’ve been waiting on IT for hours,” said Steve Clark, top CNN Correspondent. “Until Jared from IT gets down here, I can only report things like ‘Killing children, bad,’ and we’ve learned that if we keep blaming Hamas we don’t lose any advertising money. At the end of the day, this is still a business and stories about genocidal retaliation just don’t move the needle. I should mention that it’s ‘alleged’ genocidal retaliation. We are in the dark here.”
This lack of information is affecting a lot of everyday Americans who are deciding to care about the world for the first time in their lives.
“This is insane, I feel like the news is just saying incredibly vague statements and nodding their heads to look like they’re saying something concrete. The last half hour of the afternoon broadcast was three pundits just repeatedly saying ‘This was an unprecedented attack’ and then going to commercial break,” said Jerry Servino, a Real Estate agent from Detroit. “ Just tell me what I’m supposed to think so I can Tweet my version of it. The world is watching me right now, I’m not sure how much longer I can stay silent. ”
Ashley Howell, a representative from The Center of Media and Public Affairs, says this behavior from top news organizations is not normal.
“This is an issue that’s so divisive that most news outlets hope they can just ignore it by talking about the House Speaker race and the saga of Jada Pinkett and Will Smith,” said Howell. “The news is historically, technically supposed to report the news objectively so we can have a more informed populace. This kind of apathy and information fog is going to have drastic effects on society’s interpretation of this already sensitive tragic time.
At the completion of this interview, three separate top news correspondents DMed us to see if we had “any scoops on the whole Middle East thing.”