There will come a time in your life when you’re driving and you suddenly realize that the car in front of you is being driven by a student driver during their final driving exam. The roads are already crowded enough, so here are five ways to make that student driver in front of you fail.
Mercilessly Tailgate Them
Tailgating is the perfect thing to do to cause the student driver to freak out. Did they anger you by doing something wrong? Not really, but they don’t know that. They’ve only driven forty hours under adult supervision. They’ll assume you have a good reason to be driving dangerously close to their bumper.
Pretend Every Action They Do Causes You Immense Anger
Road rage is the enemy of the competent driver and seeing someone get angry can be an unnerving experience. If you begin wildly gesticulating at every action the student driver undertakes, they’ll think that you’re moments away from pulling over and getting the tire iron you keep in the back. For extra effect, laugh maniacally as you gesture towards them incredulously.
Seduce Them With A Sexy Striptease
Student drivers are taught, and assessed, to constantly be checking their mirrors. That means if they want to pass, they cannot avoid looking back and seeing you perform a turn-of-the-century inspired burlesque striptease. Arouse them with your feather boa as you distract them from the road ahead.
Challenge Them To A Drag Race
Pull up next to the student driver at a red light. Rev your engine while staring at them. Eventually they’ll look over and get the idea that the first off the line is a hero and the last off the line is a zero. In all likelihood, they’ll let you make an ass of yourself and screech off the line when the light turns green. Fortunately, this would be an automatic fail since most driving instructors don’t like speed-averse cowards.
Invite Them To Join Your Crew Of Street Racing Rebels
At the end of the day, family is all that matters.