LOS ANGELES — The estate of Cramps frontman Lux Interior announced the release of a posthumous cookbook “Goo Goo Mic: Recipes That Won’t Make You Puke” which includes over one hundred ways to cook and prepare a common microphone, sources close to the family confirmed.
“I guess Lux just acquired a taste for them after swallowing one a night for 35 years, and unbeknownst to even me, he had been filing away these sumptuous recipes the entire time,” said Cramps guitarist and Interior’s widow Poison Ivy Rorschach. “In honor of Lux’s memory, I couldn’t be happier to share this book with the world. Perfect for any chef looking for a new-but-timeless kind of kick. Some dishes require top-shelf items, but it shouldn’t be a problem since most of Lux’s recipes call for the preparer to be wearing platform heels, anyway.”
Representatives from Shure microphones were reluctant to cosign the prospective New York Times Bestseller, but were soon singing a different tune.
“I’ll admit, I was ready to release a statement about not condoning the ingestion of our products as soon as I heard about the book. But then I took a meeting with Ivy and the publishing team where they wheeled in silver platter after silver platter of delectable microphone delicacies,” said Shure CEO Christine Schyvinck. “And by the time they took the cover off the ‘Lux’s Lemon Mascarpone-Microphone Layer Cake,’ I was all in. We here at Shure back this cookbook wholeheartedly and full-stomachedly!”
Michelin star chef Alain Ducasse has given his endorsement, and even served some of Interior’s dishes at his establishments.
“Though Mr. Interior’s songwriting and stage-presence may have glorified the, shall we say, primitive and baser impulses of the human brain, these recipes are anything but,” gushed Chef Ducasse. “That man could certainly wield a mic—and grill, steam, poach, and fricassee one, too. And anyone worrying about the electricity should only look at the modern food pyramid, which now suggests about 120 volts per meal. Once you taste how good Lux’s dishes are, you’ll be shocked in more ways than one.”
In addition to the volume’s release, Rorschach announced an accompanying promotional book tour which will consist entirely of mental hospitals.