WASHINGTON — Democratic Party leaders issued a scathing statement earlier today in response to a leaked draft Supreme Court Decision overturning Roe v. Wade, according to exhausted sources.
“If true, this draft decision will cause tremendous damage to women across this country as well as the court’s own integrity,” said Senate Leader Chuck Schumer. “We, therefore, vow to use every procedural and political tactic possible to guarantee every woman imprisoned for seeking abortion access is given a $50 tax credit for the fourth quarter of the fiscal year 2023. All they have to do is fill out and sign ten simple forms at our web portal, which we expect will be up and running at some point in the next one to three years.”
“The Senate Parliamentarian is currently reviewing this proposed credit and we will defer to her judgment when it is rejected,” he added.