Corey Montgomery
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While you were all picking out flowers, crafting love poems, and filling the deep and gooey pockets of Hershey and…
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Cody Arbor
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SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local man Timothy Kroeger reportedly lost his shit again despite bragging about how little sleep he…
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Tim Sheard
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So you’re still living paycheck to paycheck despite having a degree and 15+ years of work experience—it’s probably time to…
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The Hard Times Staff
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LOS ANGELES — The White House Correspondents’ Association surprised potential guests by announcing Jeff Dunham’s most racist puppet, Bubba J,…
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The Hard Times Staff
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump attempted to justify his policy of mass deportations by claiming illegal immigrants are taking up…
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Chad Kubrak
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It’s 2025 and after over a decade of unchallenged mainstream hegemony, your hatred of Drake has been vindicated. Look, we…
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Trevor Graham
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LOS ANGELES — Local punk Corey Lambert awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after realizing…
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Rachel Hein
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Female pleasure can be confusing and scary. That’s why these highly sophisticated toys exist. They are actually designed for anyone…
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Rachel Hein
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They say the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but what about his mind? That big, powerful…
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Ben Friedman
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NEW YORK — Local crustie Joel McCaffrey was seen excitedly planning a romantic Valentine’s Day evening for his partner by…
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