fowl Archives - HARDTIMES

Costco Rotisserie Chicken Replaces Bald Eagle as America’s National Bird

Mike Maher • November 27, 2024

WASHINGTON — America’s longstanding symbol of freedom, the bald eagle, was replaced by the Costco rotisserie chicken as the official…

Scrooge McDuck Has No Fucking Idea Where to Swim After Converting His Wealth to Bitcoin

John Sevigne • June 10, 2021

DUCKBURG, Calisota — Multi-billionaire businessfowl Scrooge McDuck is questioning his decision to convert his wealth to cryptocurrency after realizing he…

Punk Clears Out Pit to Make Room for Crossing Ducklings

Steven Kowalski • January 8, 2016

AKRON, Ohio — Local punk Paul Vanslyke is being called a hero after he weathered a showering of beer, boos, and…