excrement Archives

Brett Olsen • September 10, 2025

SALT LAKE CITY — Local born again crust punk Richard “Skuz-Dixx” Vanderbilt was recently baptized in sewage after deciding to…

Matt Husser • July 23, 2024

CHICAGO — Local residents are reportedly hunkering down and preparing for the worst after Dave Matthews Band’s private jet was…

Chris Bowen • October 23, 2023

ELMIRA, N.Y. — Local Wendy's employee Jared Snyder was blissfully unaware that the broom he had picked up to play…