December is almost over and you know what that means: it’s your last chance to get certain bugs and fish in Animal Crossing: New Horizons…
DESERTED ISLAND — Villagers on the island you helped populate haven’t noticed your multi-month absence, according to reporters who recently visited. “Steve… Steve. Was he…
RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — After hours of mediation, divorcing couple David and Sophie Keller have finally found middle ground as they have agreed to share joint…
NORTHERN HEMISPHERE — Chaos erupted during a Fourth of July fireworks celebration held by the animal inhabitants of the newly settled New Texas Island, sources…
DESERTED ISLAND — Local Animal Crossing villager Ursala has been forced to continue receiving daily harassment on the deserted island she inhabits due to her…
Much has been said about millennials’ financial struggles. Many drown in debt while doing little more than hanging out on the beach, hanging out with…
MIDDLEBURY, Vt. — Local gamer Greg Stephens visited the Able Sisters clothing shop this morning to purchase new items for his Animal Crossing character, marking…
NEW YORK — Timmy and Tommy Nook, owners and operators of Nook’s Cranny, were arrested for insider trading of turnips this past Thursday, according to…
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — After using his Animal Crossing themed Switch controller exactly 10 times, local gamer Jonathan Maislin was disappointed to watch it disappear…
MOORESVILLE, N.D. — Avid Animal Crossing fan Annabelle Ortega decided to redecorate her real-life apartment based off her house in Animal Crossing: New Horizons by…
NEW HORIZONS — Fans worldwide were disappointed to discover that the celebrity who visited someone’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons island was not Elijah Wood, and…
BIG SKY ISLAND — Residents of a single-island community in the remote ocean are defying the government’s orders for social isolation amid the Coronavirus pandemic…
NEW HORIZONS — Dodo Airlines employee and CEO Orville came forward earlier this week with a statement pleading for a relief package to the tune…
Eeek! You wish to know about A Bug’s Life? What a wretched film. Such horror. Repugnance! Good heavens. Watching it, I struggle to maintain my…
Written by Jay Miller Narrated by Mark Roebuck Edited by Peter Kemme