Trump Calls for Boycotting Every Springsteen Song Except the One That Goes “Hey Little Girl Is Your Daddy Home?”
WASHINGTON — President Trump urged his MAGA base to boycott Bruce Springsteen's entire music catalog except for “I’m on Fire” in a Truth Social post early this morning. “Bruce Springsteen, who looks like a DRIED UP PRUNE, has only …
Modern Day Robin Hood? Kalshi Is Giving War Profiteering Back to the Little Guy
Finally! Some justice for the working class! I’ll admit, I had my doubts about sports betting site Kalshi after I lost $3000 in my Hawk-Tuah-Coin-Pump-And-Dump-Scandal-Same-Day-As-Jeff-Probst-Rapping-About-The-Applebees-Bourbon-Burger-On-Survivor-48… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue reading this gem</a>
So-Called Eric Clapton Fan Safely Protected Against Measles and Rubella
Aging Millennial’s Finger Mustache Tattoo Goes Gray
SEATTLE — A 35-year-old millennial with the once ubiquitous finger mustache tattoo noticed that her ink stache is graying right along with her head hair,… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read more nonsense</a>
Oh, Like Your Husband Never Engaged in a Bimbofication Fetish While You Had an Affair on a Taxpayer-Funded Luxury Jet – Guest Post by Kristi Noem
Well, don’t we just love to pile on. Is it lonely up there on your pedestals, everybody? Oh, whoopsie, I forgot, I’m a public figure,… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Tesla Hides Drive Mode Behind Subscription Paywall
We Sat Down With Cybergoth Icon The Predator
The cybergoth subculture arose in the nineties as a combination of cyberpunk and goth styles, with adherents often seen sporting some combination of a basic,… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue reading this gem</a>
Music
Local Man Owns Inappropriate Number of Guitars for Skill Level
PHOENIX — Local resident Peter Unger has an impressive collection of more than two dozen guitars, from a 1956 Stratocaster to a brand new PRS Custom 24, despite his beginner skill level, confirmed sources. “Everyone knows him as the guy…
Disappointed Concertgoer Learns Band Only Performs Live Version of Their Songs
BALTIMORE — First-time concertgoer Keith Sulzbach was disappointed to learn that a band he recently…
Impending Civil War Delayed by 2026 Weird Al Tour
WASHINGTON — The imminent Civil War between the nation’s two political parties is reportedly delayed…
Radio Station Unclear on How, Why Anyone Calling To Request Songs in 2026
SEATTLE — Staff of Washington-based alt station WFRD reported complete bewilderment this past week over…
CDC Announces Final Eradication of Bieber Fever
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced the final eradication of the…
Featured Posts
The Next Alex Jones? This Parrot Learned To Say “Deep State”
Does anyone want to buy a parrot? He’s a beautiful blue and yellow macaw, very well-behaved, enjoys grapes, and, unfortunately,…
“Our Story” Section of Wedding Website Doubles as Historical Fiction
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where…
Democrats Placated By Decision to Rename Alligator Alcatraz the “Ruth Bader Ginsburg Memorial Detention Facility”
WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…
Opinion: I Have a Substack Because I’m an Expert, and I’m an Expert Because I Have a Substack
If you’re looking for true expertise, then look no further than Substack. I know this because I have my own…