Impending Civil War Delayed by 2026 Weird Al Tour
WASHINGTON — The imminent Civil War between the nation’s two political parties is reportedly delayed because of the 2026 Weird Al Yankovic tour, confirmed sources. “Look, I’m just your average leftist who loves accordion-based parodies a…
Why My Collection of Old Slayer Shirts Is Better Than a Roth IRA
Who needs conventional retirement planning? As the saying goes, if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life, and that’s… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Wildly Popular Travel Agency Makes Plans and Then Cancels Them
House Democrats Release Video Singing ‘Imagine’ Together
WASHINGTON — A contingency of Democrats from the House of Representatives finally took a stand against the rise fascism by posting a clip of them… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Fox News Reports the Strait of Hormuz Is Blocked by Trans Swimmers
NEW YORK — American multinational conservative news channel Fox News has reported that the Strait of Hormuz, the oil trading artery linking the Persian Gulf… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Tesla Hides Drive Mode Behind Subscription Paywall
We Sat Down With Future Supreme Court Justice Kid Rock
It’s almost a certainty that, given our current societal trajectory, musician turned presidential confidante Robert James “Kid Rock” Ritchie will become a Supreme Court Justice… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Music
Local Man Owns Inappropriate Number of Guitars for Skill Level
PHOENIX — Local resident Peter Unger has an impressive collection of more than two dozen guitars, from a 1956 Stratocaster to a brand new PRS Custom 24, despite his beginner skill level, confirmed sources. “Everyone knows him as the guy…
Disappointed Concertgoer Learns Band Only Performs Live Version of Their Songs
BALTIMORE — First-time concertgoer Keith Sulzbach was disappointed to learn that a band he recently…
Impending Civil War Delayed by 2026 Weird Al Tour
WASHINGTON — The imminent Civil War between the nation’s two political parties is reportedly delayed…
Radio Station Unclear on How, Why Anyone Calling To Request Songs in 2026
SEATTLE — Staff of Washington-based alt station WFRD reported complete bewilderment this past week over…
CDC Announces Final Eradication of Bieber Fever
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced the final eradication of the…
Featured Posts
The Next Alex Jones? This Parrot Learned To Say “Deep State”
Does anyone want to buy a parrot? He’s a beautiful blue and yellow macaw, very well-behaved, enjoys grapes, and, unfortunately,…
“Our Story” Section of Wedding Website Doubles as Historical Fiction
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where…
Democrats Placated By Decision to Rename Alligator Alcatraz the “Ruth Bader Ginsburg Memorial Detention Facility”
WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…
Opinion: I Have a Substack Because I’m an Expert, and I’m an Expert Because I Have a Substack
If you’re looking for true expertise, then look no further than Substack. I know this because I have my own…