Jesus, that was a close one. I got that roller coaster feeling in my stomach for a second. You know that feeling when you’re driving and you almost hit a deer or something and then about 5 seconds later all the blood rushes to your face as your body catches up to the adrenaline? That’s how I feel. Thank god I’m safe. Thank god it went to voicemail.
Dialing that number was like walking to the electric chair. Sure, it’ll be over in a few minutes. But during those few minutes, I’m going to die. Am I blowing this out of proportion? Possibly. But now that I’ve survived another harrowing series of dial tones, I’d say my fears were completely justified.
My therapist told me about something called “avoidant behaviors” and how avoiding anxiety-provoking situations can actually increase your body’s anxious response to things in the future. This can cause a feedback loop of perpetual anxiety and avoidance that can lead to much more severe anxiety disorders such as OCD or agoraphobia. Hearing that stressed me out so I stopped going to therapy.
I also can’t cook so if DoorDash didn’t exist I would probably starve. I used to use Uber Eats but one time my driver called me for some reason. I ignored the call, deleted the app, and made a sandwich out of the condiments in my fridge.
In all honesty, I would rather die before I talk to another human being on the phone. Well, unless I’m lonely or bored or sober or something.