HAMDEN, Conn. — A local 49-year-old man wearing a Nirvana t-shirt was trounced after ruthless interrogation when he failed to name three Kohl’s locations despite…
WASHINGTON — A recent survey conducted by the Pew Research Center found alarming evidence that the majority of Americans confidently believe that prehistoric dinosaurs walked…
LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Leading climate analysts at Purdue University are warning that global warming could cause Weezer’s Blue Album to be entirely red by 2035,…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local nu metal guitarist and longtime imbecile Mike “Grundbutter” Hobbes of Synapse Flux somehow managed to lose his pick inside his electric…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Members of rockabilly octet Eddie Mercury and the Cougars recently took a paternity test to determine who’s the real daddy-o of scene…
WASHINGTON — United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy confirmed that the deadly epidemic of male loneliness in America finally ended after an unknown person…
Long Island has a lot going for it. It’s got a couple of beaches, bagels, and more emo bands per capita than anywhere else in…
CHICAGO — Mcdonald’s is finally honoring beloved musician Wesley Willis by announcing he would be the face of their latest celebrity meal, which is expected…
CLEVELAND, Ohio. — Pop rock band Goo Goo Dolls were once again voted “Third Best Band With ‘Goo Goo’ in the Name” for the twentieth…
DETROIT – Shock Rock pioneer Alice Cooper recently issued an apology for a lyric within the chorus of his 1972 single “School’s Out”’ which suggested…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — A county judge recently issued a rare order of protection against Buckcherry fan Ricky Stewart forbidding him to come within 50 feet…
NEW YORK – Employees of boutique consulting firm PayIt were shocked today when Bret Michaels showed up demanding an interview in response to their job…
DEARBORN, Mich. — Working class icon and rockstar Bruce Springsteen recently penned a ballad about a fictional character who is proud of his job despite…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Recently discovered diaries from the late country music legend Johnny Cash show he was first hoping to record a rendition of Nine…
OYSTER BAY, N.Y. — An enraged Billy Joel responded to Fall Out Boy’s update of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” with his own version of…