MESA, Ariz. – Lead singer of pop-punk band Garbage Yacht Todd Rogers snuck his teenage girlfriend into an early screening of “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey” to celebrate Valentine’s Day, sources from trigonometry class confirmed.
“It felt good being bad for a change and doing something a little dangerous. If we had gotten caught there definitely could have been some serious repercussions. I had it all under control though, when it comes to ignoring age restrictions I’ve got a lot of experience,” Rogers explained. “Ava’s so mature for her age so I don’t think this will be a problem content-wise, and I’m sure we’ll come up with a good way for me to get her past whatever dweeb is working the counter. I’m just happy to go on a real date again, usually I only get to talk to girls after shows before their parents pick them up.”
Rogers’ girlfriend, Ava Turner, explained that her initial reluctance disappeared after being privy to the plan.
“I didn’t want to get in trouble so I texted Todd that maybe we should just stay in and watch Disney+ at his place like we usually do. But then during cheerleading practice I saw he texted back and said he had the perfect plan. Since you can get into an R-rated movie with a parent or guardian if you’re under 17, all we had to do was pose as father and daughter,” Turner said. “This was genius because Todd’s got some deep wrinkles around his eyes and a hairline that’s receding pretty bad just like my stepdad’s. So everything worked out!”
AMC usher Trent Snyder recounts the events he witnessed on Valentine’s Day.
“I recognized Todd right away since he’s friends with my older brother, and then standing next to him in the concession line was Ava from my history class. I noticed he bought her a child-sized popcorn and asked if we had any milk cartons, which was a little odd. Then things got even weirder,” noted a concerned Snyder. “During the movie they left their seats and he walked her to the bathroom. Todd waited outside the door and when Ava came out he said, ‘all set, honey?’ with one hand firmly on her shoulder. The last I saw of them was when Todd was giving her a piggyback ride to the parking lot after the movie.”
At press time, Todd was seen giving consent for Ava to get a tattoo.