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New Photo Filter Shows What You Would Look Like in Facial-Recognition Database

SAN JOSE, Calif. — App start-up Throl has announced the new FaceServe photo filter, which shows users what they look like in any of the dozens of facial-recognition databases Throl leases to corporate interests and despotic governments.

“We’re very excited for this new opportunity to hold a mirror to society’s face, even if we have to do it one person at a time,” said Throl founder, Percy Brighton, masked under the grease-based Juggalo face-paint that has proven effective in countering the very facial-recognition technology Brighton profits from. “Never before has the opportunity been greater to license a stranger’s image for use in Southeast Asian palm oil marketing.”

FaceServe works by sending user-submitted photos to an Idaho-based server, where biometric data is extracted and distributed. Then, a copy of the interface display used by computers on that network is returned to the user, with listed personal information (i.e. name, address, contact information, purchasing habits, internet use history, etc.). The information is safely redacted to make sure it never gets in the wrong hands.

“We are so proud of the security of our servers. Never before has sensitive information been so safe from the hands of people or entities unwilling to pay top dollar for it”, said Brighton while flipping through a key ring full of USB drives loaded with bitcoin account information. “In fact, we are so dedicated to security that we work with a number of national security forces around the world to provide them with the facial data we collect from all users, especially if they’re the sort of troublemakers who direct revolutionary thinking away from app development.”

Rumors suggest Throl’s next project will merge FaceServe with a typical face-swapping app, so users can see what their friends and family might look like in the database as well.

 

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