WASHINGTON — Quarantined citizens around the country have reportedly come together in solidarity to tolerate playthroughs of various Jackbox Party Packs in an effort to survive the COVID-19 epidemic.
“It’s quite incredible to see the unity in this country during these trying times,” said epidemiologist Marsha Cunningham. “From self-quarantining, to supporting small businesses, to pretending to enjoy a game of Quiplash over Discord, people are coming together to do the right thing. Because at the end of the day, the government isn’t forcing anyone to do these things. And we all know Quiplash is essentially just Apples to Apples — a game that no one really liked in the first place.”
Those living in coronavirus epicenters have stressed the importance of working together to overcome the loneliness of quarantining.
“It has been really difficult, but I think we’re going to persevere through this,” said New York City bartender Stephen Tate. “The quarantining has been pretty easy, actually, but pretending to laugh at my friends’ ‘funny’ answers in Fibbage XL has been a struggle and I’m an aspiring actor. If I see one more person draw 9/11 in Drawful, I think I’m just gonna run out to Times Square and get myself the ‘rona.”
Despite insistence from experts, however, many Americans have ignored growing coronavirus concerns.
“Yeah, sorry, but you’re incredibly privileged if you can just lock up like that,” said Montana resident Kris Marsh. “I am very wealthy and my job gave me PTO, but I don’t have the luxury of pretending to enjoy Trivia Murder Party alone on my couch. I have a family to feed. Do you know how devastating it would be for my children to look me in the eyes and be able to tell through my smile that I don’t actually care about their solutions to everyday problems in Patently Stupid?”
As of press time, President Trump came under fire after he announced that he and a handful of cabinet members were going to meet up and just play Cards Against Humanity in person.
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