HAMAMATSU, Japan — Pedal manufacturer BOSS announced that they will finally be releasing a pedal that sounds like Jack Black scatting a very dope guitar solo, sources confirmed with a little “squir-dit-dilly-derr.”
“For one thing, I know BOSS is relieved to stop getting constant messages about inventing a pedal that could recreate the specific sound Jack Black makes when he is impersonating a guitar riff, that’s for sure. Hundreds of emails and letters pour in every day begging for a stompbox to make a guitar sound like a ‘School of Rock’ outtake,” said ex-BOSS President Yoshi Ikegami, who still consults. “Or they’ve just rewatched ‘High Fidelity’ for the umpteenth time, and have Black’s character’s noodlings stuck in their head. We had no choice but to have our team work on the schematics day and night, startibg around 1999. Who knows what Hendrix would have done with this technology?”
The pedal’s inspiration, comic actor Jack Black, was more than happy to take part in the design process.
“It was a little bit of a doozy to record all my ‘’squeedily dees’ and ‘hrood doot doos’ and even the ever-so-rare ‘ferd-dee-durtle-durts’ in every possible key, but if I’m gonna do something, I’m gonna come correct. Glad to be part of rock history once again, and this time I don’t have to wear a little schoolboy’s uniform, which is a plus,” said Black while waving to a throng of well-deserved fans every few minutes. “Hell, I might just buy one myself, methinks. I’ve been playing in the D with Kage for a long time now, and it will be good to rest the ol’ piperoonies for once and just let my guitar do the squawking, so to speak.”
Representatives from the world-renowned Nobel Peace Prize committee agreed the invention could be a boon to mankind.
“We tend to typically only give out awards for the fields of physics, chemistry, physiology, medicine, literature, etc., but this year, we argue that the BOSS ‘Black Beauty’ could be beneficial to all of those mediums and more. Now that we have a guitar pedal that makes Jack Black ramblings, there’s really nothing left on the ‘seemingly impossible task’ docket to do but to solve climate change and cure cancer” lauded Nobel Prize committee member Anne Enger. “It’s inspired hope within us and our community, and we can feel all the good on the horizon now that the good people at BOSS have blessed us with this long-awaited miracle.”
Not to be outdone, ElectroHarmonix is fast-tracking a “Kyle Gass” pedal that mostly causes the player to get constantly mistaken for Andy Richter.