Hard Drive Archives - Page 186

Sad Incel Doesn’t Get the Hint From Uninterested Girl

Jeremy Kaplowitz • May 4, 2018

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Plumber and noted loner Mario Mario has reportedly missed multiple verbal and nonverbal cues from Princess Peach,…

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Review: ‘Superman the Ride’ Adds Nothing to Mythology

Patrick Brown • May 3, 2018

From Star Tours to T2 3-D: Battle Across Time, major theme park licensing deals can provide fresh new narratives for…

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Netflix Breathes Sigh of Relief as Iron Fist Disintegrates During Infinity War Finale

Jeremy Kaplowitz • May 1, 2018

LOS ANGELES — Netflix executives were reportedly relieved to discover that Iron Fist had disintegrated during the finale of Marvel’s…

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Shitty Game Console Looking Forward to Retro Status

Mark Roebuck • May 1, 2018

KYOTO, Japan — Executives at Nintendo are reportedly counting the days until their Wii U console, an underwhelming system released…

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Terrified MIT Computer Scientists Hide From Roomba Hacked to Run DOOM

Doug Francisco • April 30, 2018

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Several graduate students associated with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Media Lab have taken shelter in a…

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60-Year-Old Secretary Technically Professional Gamer

Kyle Erf • April 29, 2018

COLLEGE STATION, Texas — Administrative official Joan Norman recently celebrated her 30th anniversary working a position at Texas A&M University,…

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‘Let’s Jump Right Into It,’ Says YouTuber Eight Minutes Into Tutorial

Rick Homuth • April 28, 2018

GLENCOE, Ill. — Seventeen-year-old Twitch streamer and occasional “YouTube Tutorialist” Tucker Ferguson announced to viewers his intention to “jump right…

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Daredevil Reportedly Too Busy Stopping Bodega Shoplifter to Help Fight Thanos

Jeremy Kaplowitz • April 26, 2018

NEW YORK — The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, a masked vigilante known as Daredevil, was reportedly too busy fighting a…

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PUBG Gives Me Hope That I Can Still Be Loved Despite Being Deeply Broken

Jeremy Kaplowitz • April 26, 2018

Many video game journalists wrote this year that PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds was their top game of 2017, and I wholeheartedly agree.…

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Amazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of Monopoly

M.J. Amory • April 25, 2018

SEATTLE — In a move widely expected by the industry, Amazon has acquired the board game giant Hasbro with the…

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