You don’t know me, but chances are you know my work. Such is the world of advertising, you have a hand in people’s day-to-day lives without them even realizing it. That’s how you know you’re doing your job. And while I love and stand behind everything I’ve worked on in my career, there’s one innovation I’m particularly proud of. I’m the guy who decided ads on porn videos should be twice as loud as the clip you’re trying to watch.
Why do I do it? Because my artistic work shall not be ignored. TV commercials being louder than the programming they run in has been a complaint for generations, but hitting the mute button on the remote control is quick and easy. But when you’re sitting in front of a laptop in a darkened room as you click on a PornHub video, only to be greeted with 15 unskippable seconds of a computerized voice bleating “TRY NOT TO CUM!” while two CGI orcs fuck reverse-cowgirl in some freemium game’s desolate wasteland, your sex-addled brain can’t connect the dots fast enough to let go of your genitals to skip it before it’s finished. At which point you will have bore witness to my art.
I remember pitching this idea to my boss just after we won the account for SemenBlast Cum Exploder. When it came time to break the script I said, “we should hire a woman to moan loudly into a microphone and absolutely crank that shit up in post so the viewer has no choice but to really be present when experiencing my masterpiece.
Also, I do it because it’s really fucking funny. That’s honestly most of the reason.