If you have access to an FM radio, you’ve been unfortunate enough to hear at least one song by British classic rock band The Who, whose founding guitarist, Pete Townshend, received a warning from the Metropolitan Police Services in 2003 for some less-than-commendable behavior he engaged in with his computer. As such, here are five songs by The Who that’ll make you say, “Didn’t their guitarist get caught using his credit card to access a child porn website and then everyone just, like, forgot about it?”
- “Baba O’Riley” (Who’s Next, 1971)
Upon hearing the opening notes of “Baba O’Riley”, you’re bound to say, “Wait, he said he was trying to access this website as research to prove that British banks were channeling the profits from pedophile rings? How much fucking sense does that make, and why isn’t this the first thing people think of when someone mentions The Who?” Let’s move on to the next tune by these English rockers!
- “Pinball Wizard” (Tommy, 1969)
You’re probably already familiar with this song, and if you’re anything like us, hearing it will make you exclaim, “I mean, even if authorities weren’t able to prove that he had accessed illicit images, he still registered his credit card on a website he knew contained child porn. Shouldn’t that have been enough to at least cancel the guy? Why are people comfortable still playing this music? It’s not even that good!” What else do Roger Daughtrey and company have in store for us?
- “I Can See For Miles” (The Who Sell Out, 1967)
Ah, yes! Let that conventional Britpop that was done earlier and better by The Beatles get your foot tapping as you say, “The Super Bowl Halftime Show? They played the Super Bowl Halftime Show after their guitarist got caught using his credit card to access a child porn website? I knew the NFL was run by people completely bereft of anything even remotely resembling conscience, but that is unbelievable! What the fuck was going through their minds when they booked them?”
- “Love, Reign O’er Me” (Quadrophenia, 1973)
“I guess it maybe would’ve made more sense if it was, like, 1973, but The Who played the Super Bowl Halftime Show in 2010, for Christ’s sake,” you’ll likely say while listening to this boring-ass song that sounds like something The Doors left on the cutting room floor. “Were The Who in such high demand in fucking 2010? Why would they choose a band whose guitarist accessed a child porn website over the countless more modern artists they had to choose from?”
- “Squeeze Box” (The Who By Numbers, 1975)
As this song continues with its stupid and insufferable double entendres, likening an accordion to sexual intercourse, you’ll be throwing up your hands and saying, “This really fucking sucks and their guitarist is, to be as charitable as humanly possible, a total fucking creep. Why would anyone willingly listen to this bullshit?” before walking out of the room. We can’t say we blame you!
